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Please EMAIL me with your jokes and I will publish them if I fine them
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Pickles added 5/1/2007
Bill Gates vs GM
from
Walt M. of South Bend, IN 05/19/2007.
Please remember that is this is a joke
and I'm not good enough to make these up
For all of us
who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
computers have enhanced our lives, read on; as my Microsoft
windows crashes every time I exit a PDF file..
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
stated,
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got
1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a
press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I
just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........
Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you
would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road,
close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and
reopen the windows before you could continue. For some
reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in
which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive
- but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights
would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An
Illegal Operation" warning light.
I love the next one!!!
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and
grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have
to learn how to drive all over again because none of the
controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the
engine off.
Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes
hate - their computer!
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