|
This site is dedicated to
bad jokes, funny jokes, general humor, tasteless bits of information and general
laugh provokers. Please EMAIL me with your jokes and I will publish them if I
fine them humorous.. I do
not publish totally offensive or completely off-color stuff. The daily jokes are
archived and can be viewed in the ARCHIVES file on the right. Cartoon links
also included on
the right. Updated Calvin GIF for 10/17/06. Peanuts link added 4/25/06
How to Drive Like a Floridian from
Nancy S. of Sebring, Fl. 11/19/06.
Any time,
any place, any path, any pace.
--------------------------------------
1. Turn
signals will give away your next move. A real Florida
driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe
distance between you and the car in front of you, or the
space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in
an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller
the chance you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign.
No one expects it and it will result in you being
rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs
extensive bodywork, especially someone from Florida or
Georgia. With no- fault insurance the other guy doesn't
have anything to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to
ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing
foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of
you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the
right. It's a good way to prepare for people entering
the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a
suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in any
County during rush hour.
9 Just because you're in the left lane and have no room
to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Florida
driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think
he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an
accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen
as a sign of respect for the victim.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Florida is the home of
high-speed slalom driving.
12. It is traditional in Florida to honk your horn at
cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.
13. Remember that the goal of every Florida driver is to
get there first by whatever means necessary.
THANK YOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY
Visitors since 07/31/05
|
