Jim's Joke Site

This site is dedicated to bad jokes, funny jokes, general humor, tasteless bits of information and general laugh provokers. Please EMAIL me with your jokes and I will publish them if I fine them humorous.. I do not publish totally offensive or completely off-color stuff. The daily jokes are archived and can be viewed in the ARCHIVES file on the right. Cartoon links also included on the right. 

The Blonde's monthly planner   Roy S. of Nicholasville, Ky.   01/06/06.      

 
 

1. January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

2. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in the typewriter!!!

3. March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 
months.....box said "2-4 years!"

4. April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

5. May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into
those little packets!!!

6. June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

7. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

8. August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because
top was down.

9. September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

10. October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.

11. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour
per pound and I weigh 108!!!

12. December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button
on the phone!!!

Phew!!

What a year!!
.


 

 

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