This site is dedicated to bad jokes, funny jokes, general humor, tasteless bits of information and general laugh provokers. Please EMAIL me with your jokes and I will publish them. I do not publish totally offensive or completely off-color stuff. The daily jokes are archived and can be viewed in the ARCHIVE file. Cartoon links are included on the right. 

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my
doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted,
gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip
replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40
different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my
body are just prone to swinging.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your
coffeemaker.

People our age can still enjoy an active, passionate sex life!
Provided we get cable or that dish thing.

The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our
boobs. The bad news is they have to squat down first.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast
relief."

I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but
they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner
child playing with matches.

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old,You grow
old because you stop laughing.

THE SENILITY PRAYER Grant me the senility to forget the people I
never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.