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ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE 02/09/02

     It was midday when I got the call that my grandfather was not well and
his condition was rapidly getting worse.  My family did not know how long
he had left.  People had been visiting him throughout the day and were
basically saying goodbye.
     I knew I had to get to the hospital to tell him how much I loved him.
Who knew how long he had left?  As I drove to the hospital, I pictured him
passing on before I got to tell him how much he meant to me.  Struggling to
fight back the tears, I wanted to maintain my composure for when I saw him.
     When I got to the hospital, I hurriedly searched for his hospital
room.  Once the nurse left the room, I walked to my grandfather's bed.  I
found him in a semi-conscious state, hooked up to all sorts of machines and
tubes going in and out of him.  Kneeling down to his level, I quietly
whispered, "Hello Grandpa".
     Still feeling shy, I committed in my mind to not leaving his bedside
without letting him know.  I pulled up a chair and began talking to him.
While I asked about his condition, he told me, "I'll be fine," although we
both knew that wasn't true.  Then he asked me with a smile how I was doing.
     While I felt special that my grandpa wanted to know how I was doing, I
knew I wasn't there just to give him an update on me.  I was a man on a
mission.  I made the decision that I had to show my gratitude for him.  As
I summoned all the courage I had, I clutched his hand.  From the expression
on my face, he knew I had something important to say.
     Drawing nearer to him, I said, "Grandpa.  I have to tell you
something."  By this time, the tears were streaming down my face.  Not a
trickle -- it was as if the dam had broken.  All those years of love that I
had pent up and not let him know, had become free.
     I took a deep breath and tried to regain my composure.  In doing this,
our eyes locked.  You know what they say about the eyes being the window of the soul?  Well, our eyes spoke more than was ever possible.  Through my sniffles, I burst out, "Grandpa.  I just want to let you know how much I
love you.  I hope you already know that yet I just wanted to make sure."
     Smiling broadly, he said, "I know.  Thank you for telling me that."
He further elaborated, "All I have on this planet is my family and my love
for them.  If there is anything I could ask of you, I want you to be good
to your family, your mother, your father, and your brother.  That's all I
want of you."  Nodding, I promised him that I would.  We both turned to
notice the nurse coming in the room.
     She told me that the visitation period had ended and that she needed
to do some tests.  Squeezing his hand tight, I gave him a warm hug as all
the love I had ever felt for him came flooding through my body.  I knew
this could very well be the last time I ever saw him.  I walked out of his
room and stopped.  I had to look at him one last time.  I turned and saw
him smile and wave.  He was still my grandpa, still smiling, and still
happy despite the grave situation.  That image is forever etched into my
memory.
     What I learned that day transformed my entire life.
     From then on, I began telling people how much I love them, care for
them, and respect them.  I write glowing, unsolicited testimonials for
people I come in contact with (for example, my hairdresser, my banker, my
aerobics instructor) to show my appreciation.  I go down into the city once
a week and serve pizza to the homeless.  I wake up every morning and list
everything I'm grateful for in my life.
     Since we never really know how long those we care about will be in our
lives, I created for myself an "attitude of gratitude".